the condom got lost in my hair
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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