after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
