Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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