After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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