Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
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I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
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I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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