WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
