a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize