Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
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