I can text with my tongue
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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