oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
