You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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