doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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