I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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