where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
