Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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