At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
