Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she pinky promised me she was 18
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
