last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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