I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?