Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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