Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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