They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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