I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
