I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
