i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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