is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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