i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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