i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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