like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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