dude i'm inner monologue high
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
