so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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