We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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