I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
