New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
