rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
