We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
