i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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