fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
