dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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