But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
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I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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