so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
