you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
