Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
