Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
