Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
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Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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