And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
