dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
