Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize