At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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