I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
