idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
