i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i believe in u and ur pee
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
