Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
