hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
