I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
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it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
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Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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