words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
