Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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