I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
And then he peed in my hair
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