they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize