how do flat chested girls get laid?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
