real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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