You don't have asthma, your pregnant
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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