I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
