That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
