So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
