My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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