Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
