I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
