sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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