I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
